


spaced.

by foundCarcosa



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-29
Updated: 2014-10-29
Packaged: 2018-02-23 03:29:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2532449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/foundCarcosa/pseuds/foundCarcosa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The loss of a ship and a lifetime, through the eyes and mind of spaced Shepard.</p>
            </blockquote>





	spaced.

_There is no Normandy without her crew,_ he thought numbly as the ship shattered around him. _And there is no me without Normandy._

He had nightmares, all the time. About choosing between teammates, about drawing blood-red targets on their foreheads as they looked up trustingly at him. About Saren Arterius somehow resurrecting a third time, and ambushing them during a routine mission. But not about this. Not about Normandy.

Normandy was the one constant in this universe; his anchor in a fathomless sea. No matter what had come before, it was Normandy that had defined Adrian, Normandy that gave Adrian solace, Normandy that they all called home.

And yet, Normandy was dying.

"Commander!" Jeff was yelling, then, "Shepard! _Adrian,_ hurry up! Get out of there!”

 _Hadn’t I just been saying the same thing to him?_ he thought, and _I hope his legs aren’t fucked up too badly, getting him into that shuttle wasn’t easy,_ and then, with a grinding, scraping sound that Adrian felt more than heard, Normandy broke, and took him with her.

 _Oh,_ Adrian thought, almost musingly, but clearer than day.

 _"Adrian!"_ he heard, one last frantic cry, one last time. 

"It’s all right, Jeff. Get out of here, make sure the others are safe, I’ll be all right," he tried to say, "I’ll always be all right," but his suit was trilling alarmingly and space was creeping in through the cracks, cold dark space, and he couldn’t catch his breath, and he couldn’t see the shuttles anymore, couldn’t see the planet he was tumbling towards, could only see the last remnants of Normandy burning in the black.

_I swore I would never leave them, didn't I? And yet, here I am. Leaving them._

The suit’s alarms faded, a pleasant cool feeling seeping into his body and making his movements sluggish. He was dimly aware of tumbling through space, of a planet’s orbit reeling him in, but everything else was black — no up, no down, nothing but black.  
It was the calmest he’d been since…

Liara’s sweet voice came to him then, and a smile touched his bluing lips. “Relax, Commander. Embrace eternity—!”

_I did. And now eternity comes to embrace me. Remember me._

And because he could do no more, Adrian Shepard went willingly into the black.


End file.
